We’re Not on Vacation: The Myth of “Catching Up on Tour”

If you’ve ever said, “Hey, I’ll swing by the show and we can hang,” to someone on tour—especially crew—you’re probably a nice person with good intentions. But also, respectfully, you don’t get it.

We are not hanging. We are working.

Tour isn’t a holiday. It’s not a city-hopping cocktail crawl. It’s a nonstop, high-pressure logistics machine where every minute is accounted for, and every screw-up lands on someone’s back.

We load in. We set up. We count merch. We chase venue staff. We troubleshoot. We stress about gear. We worry about guarantees. We get half-fed, barely sleep, and when we finally get 20 quiet minutes… that’s not hang time. That’s survival mode.

So no, it’s not personal when we don’t want to sit for a coffee, or when we barely have time to hug you at the venue door. It’s not a blow-off when we say, “I’ll try to see you after the show,” and then disappear into a pit of invoices, packing, and end-of-night chaos.

It’s because tour is a moving battlefield and we are mid-mission.

Now, we love that you care. We really do. It’s beautiful that you want to connect. But if you truly respect what we do, then understand this:

If you want to support your friend on tour, don’t ask them to hang. Ask them what they need.

• Maybe it’s a ride to the hotel.

• Maybe it’s someone who brings proper food, not another can of energy drink.

• Maybe it’s just understanding that the “backstage” you imagine is a smelly, chaotic storage room with no real seats, and definitely no zen.

And if we do get to hang for 5 minutes? Awesome. But let it be a bonus, not the expectation.

Tour is work. Respect it like you would any job.

You wouldn’t waltz into a friend’s kitchen during their restaurant shift and expect them to chill and catch up over wine. Same rule here.

So yeah—pull up to the show. Sing your heart out. Buy a shirt. Hug your road dog.

But know this: if we ghost you after the encore, it’s not because we don’t care.

It’s because the work ain’t done.